“I’m so camouflage dey gonna think mah ass is leaves on a tree.”
Trolleys have been practicing the survival technique of camouflage since the dawn of trolley-time. Please observe how this runaway trolley successfully blends into its surrounding environment as a means of deceiving the authorities (Torquay, Victoria).
“I can’t feel my wheels.”
Pulverised by an SUV in Miami, a trolley gurgles some painful words in the face of possibly becoming scrap metal. The average trolley can go without most body parts for up to five hours before they need to be welded back together. The problem is there is no trolley paramedic service. Let’s pray someone soldered this mangled fellow back to life (USA).
“Trying to remember last night is like trying to recall a dream.”
Returning to consciousness, a seedy Castlemaine cart is quick to notice his memory lapse but slow to realise he is chained to a bus stop (Victoria, Australia).
“Dreams can come true… something something, you know you gotta have hope, you know you gotta be strong.” Remembering a time when buses were forced to find parks among common vehicles, a trolley finds itself mumbling Gabrielle’s famous pop song “Dreams”. Trolleys and buses and (to a lesser extent) taxis share a benevolent bond formed by decades spent occupying shopping centre parking lots (Lake Haven, NSW, Australia).
“Not only does this marble feel good, it tastes good too.” Trolleys are known for their depraved tastes. Not unlike animals, trolleys enjoy strange tactile sensations often found in the man-made environment. Where a bird might enjoy sharpening its beak on a smooth piece of found cuttlefish, a trolley enjoys licking a marble wall or rubbing its metal against a fly-screen. This marble-loving trolley takes to the taste and texture of a wall in Gosford (NSW, Australia).
“Oi taxi!”
Taxis are a luxury not afforded by most trolleys. Taxi drivers can (literally) see straight through any trolley who might be planning a “runner”. Stranded in the rain at Caulfield and carrying not so much as a wallet, this trolley hasn’t a skerrick of hope in hailing a taxi (Victoria, Australia).
“We’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking this mornin’. I’m stuffed. Time for some smoko I reckon. This arvo’ll be as silly as a wheel.”
Discouraged by the afternoon workload, some trades-trolleys opt for a rest, sweltering in the heat of a hard day’s work (Central Coast, NSW, Australia).
“Looks like I’m running low. I guess I should call my mum and have her send me some money. I wonder if that motorcycle knows somewhere I can score.”
It doesn’t matter where you go in the world: trolleys have a reputation for being lazy and depraved. As he considers borrowing money and buying marijuana in the same moment, the Canadian trolley pictured above contributes to its already debased reputation.
”What’s up my lil’ cuz?”
“Awe! I’m spewin’ bro. Jimmy ‘n’ Timmy wore the same tank top as me to the blue light disco last night; I was so devo!”
Puberty is a testing time for an adolescent trolley; their metal grows out of proportion, they get shinier in strange places, handles are sensitive and emotions skid and roll. Pictured are a group of teenage trolleys languishing over the knots of individuality while sharing a smoke or two (Central Coast, NSW, Australia).
“Soon as I git out of ‘ere I’m gonna burn that flag and piss that handle off.”
Trolleys typically begin their lives as slaves. It is not unusual for a free, emancipated, wild, independent or fugitive trolley to self-mutilate so as to remove any logos or apparatus they associate with their previous slave-life. Here one such slave dreams of freedom on the Central Coast (NSW, Australia).
“Tow Away Zone: more like Bong On Zone, i’n’t that right?”
A double-decker trolley comes from the blunderbuss mists of psychosis to talk to itself in a dark corner at Southbank (Victoria, Australia).
“Hey guys, where’d you go? I thought we were going to hang at the beach this arvo.”
Some pseudo-friends bail on this trolley at a Tuggerah Thai Restaurant and leave him with the bill (NSW, Australia).
“She’s got her father’s handle and her mother’s silver complexion.”
A relative making comment on a trolley baby’s physical characteristics (New Zealand).
“The missus popped double trouble so now I got twice the plastic on me metal.”
A young father encumbered by parenthood on the Central Coast (NSW, Australia).
“Can’t a trolley slash in peace mate?”
South Melbourne trolley is unimpressed with being photographed while urinating in public (Australia).
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